First of all, just let me state for the record that I have nothing but admiration and respect for firemen. I’ve done some pretty dangerous stuff in my days, but no way am I running into a burning structure to save some guy I don’t know, nor his antique Mason jar collection.
That being said, there is a ritual that occurs two or three times a year around OKC where our local firemen walk out into traffic at various intersections, collecting donations for some unbeknownst charity. My guess is that the charity for this weekend is muscular dystrophy, but I do not know since they are not wearing or carrying anything to tell me. The only thing the firemen do carry around is a big ass rubber boot to collect the money in.
Once again, let me state for the record, I am sure that all the charities that they collect for all extremely worthwhile. The need for the charitable collection is not my sore point. It simply annoys me to no end to have these guys walking right out into traffic and shoving their big ass rubber boot in my face. I am equally sure that the majority of the firemen would prefer not to be doing it as well. They would no doubt rather be back at the firehouse playing ping pong, polishing something, or betting on who can do the most push-ups with a glass of water in the middle of their back.
If I were to walk out in traffic with a big ass rubber boot to collect money, I would be either arrested or ran over. Do they offer firemen special training on how to not get ran over by stressed out people trying to get their yoga class so that they can seek inner peace? I also do not like the look. You know the look on that fireman’s face when he realizes you are not going to shove any money into his big ass rubber boot despite the fact that he just spent five hours putting out a house fire and now has to stand out in traffic sucking up exhaust. However the part of it that irritates me the most is waiting at a light, and just as I start to move forward, someone in front of me just has to stop, and take time to dig five dollars out of their skinny jeans wrapped around their Egg McMuffin-eating oversized ass, so that they can shove it into the big ass rubber boot, and then they make the light, and I DON’T!
Whatever happened to beefcake calendars? Don’t we have twelve good looking firemen, with their big ass hoses (fire hoses you pervert) in all of OKC who would not mind being sexually exploited for charity?
