I don’t think anyone really is.
There have been a lot of news stories lately about the NSA listening into everything we do. It was, at one time, the FBI that we were concerned about. There is that one TV show called “Person of Interest” which is all about the “Machine” watching our every movement, and reporting on us to the government. However, I don’t know if I believe that or not. I am just wondering how many “earmarked” websites I would have to visit and how many books of a rather interesting nature I would have to purchase in order to raise the attention of the men with the dark glasses. This last statement should be explained a bit, I guess. I am of course speaking in reference to the research I have been doing for these next three Morgan Snow books.
This reminds me of two things, of which I have also found a quandary. I have wrecked two, not one, but two Toyota Tacomas, one which was so bad that the truck was totaled, the other resulting in the passenger side front being creamed in. Just to explain, when I said I wrecked, what I really mean is that two women wrecked them for me. I, of course, being virtually the world’s safest driver am incapable of mistake behind the wheel. Regardless, my point is that in both instances, the air bags did not deploy. My question is – exactly how bad of an accident do I have to be in for them to deploy?
My next question is this – Do you remember the “Emergency Broadcast System”? It still exists by the way. If you are unaware of what it is, then I will explain. It is this very annoying loud buzzing sound emitted from your TV, during which time a weird test pattern like display is shown, followed by a booming male voice telling you that this was only a test and in the event of an actual emergency you would have been instructed where to tune for more information. During 9-11 there was no interruption by the Emergency Broadcast System, so my question is this – how much worse does it have to get than having an attack on American soil by terrorists flying jet airliners loaded with people and fuel into two of the country’s most iconic structures killing hundreds upon hundreds of people?
I guess I should not have started drinking bourbon before beginning this blog – but I shall persevere. If I lose you along the way, don’t feel alone, because I just had to look back at the first paragraph to figure out what the hell I was talking about. So, now back to my point:
I have looked at:
How to make a bomb
How to create an airborne virus
Animal Husbandry (don’t ask)
How to electrocute a person
Creative uses for Gerbils
What the best manner is for causing the rapid decay of a body
All sorts of security devices and how to bypass them
Tons of stuff on guns and how to get them illegally
How much blood a person can lose without dying
What the major pain thresholds are and how best to manipulate them
Various S&M websites (some were actually for research)
Past methods of execution around the world
The best way to severe limbs and remove organs while keeping the person alive
and last but not least
Numerous sites concerning weird things that men have put their penis into
Were it that the NSA, FBI, or the Girl Scouts were truly monitoring my Internet traffic and Amazon book buying habits, I surely would have had a knock at the door by now. So I believe that your predilection for looking at the “Chicks with Dicks” website is not going to land you in hot water anytime soon.
Bear in mind if in fact I am mistaken and the “Feds” are in fact watching my activities, I do not warrant, nor require, a visit from you. I do not need to be questioned for hour on end, nor having a towel placed over my face while water is poured on it. I also do not wish to be taken away for a long totally invasive cavity search – not without at least buying me dinner first!